11 weeks 4 days

The ultrasound yesterday was amazing. We got to see it kick and move it's arms. It was so cute. We got 21 pictures on a disk and she printed 9 for us. It was definitely worth the money. My parents and sister loved being able to see it and Chris has been talking about baby non stop. He loved it and said we can go back whenever I want. We went to old Navy after and I got some pants and a shirt. We also went to babies r us to look around. We scheduled another u/s at that place for Jan 26 so we can find out the sex!

This is the picture I'm going to use to announce on Facebook New Years Day.

Bump Day Week 11

I'm 11 weeks 3 days today, which is the most pregnant I have ever been. I have an ultrasound at 3:30! I heard the heartbeat nice and clear last night so I'm not too nervous for this ultrasound. I am also going to go shopping for some maternity pants after that and out to dinner with my parents and sister. Should be a good day!

Week: 11

How Big is Baby: Baby is the size of a lime! The bump says "Your fetus is about 1.6 inches long, and she's got about a 1:1 head to body ratio. She now weighs in at about .25 ounces. You can't see it, but she's moving fluidly and gracefully in there. Her skin is see-through, but she's on her way to looking more like a baby. Her fingers and toes aren't webbed anymore. Tooth buds, hair follicles and nail beds are forming.

Weight Gain: Still about 2 lbs

Gender: Chris thinks it's a boy, and I think it's a girl. Everyone in our families think it's a girl too. I can't wait to find out.

Names: We have names and I thought we were 100%, but now we aren't exactly sure. We won't be sharing until the baby is born tho.

Symptoms: Not much of anything. Sore boobs and lots of dreams that make it hard to sleep, but that's about it.

Sleep: I've been having so many dreams and they make it hard for me to sleep. They wake me up and then I'll go to sleep and have another dream and wake up, all night.

Movement: too early for that, but I can't wait!

Maternity Clothes: I'm wearing maternity jeans today and am going shopping today to get work pants and another pair of jeans. My jeans fit ok, but I feel like I'm trying to stuff myself into them so I'd rather wear maternity.

Food Cravings: Not really anything this week.

Food Aversions: Nothing. 

Stretchmarks: not yet.

What I'm Looking Forward To: My ultrasound today!!

What I Miss: nothing.

Next Drs Appointment: December 24th!

Best Moment of the Week: Hearing the heartbeat with the doppler and being the most pregnant I have ever been!

 This is what I look like in my normal jeans. Stuffed sausage.

10 weeks 6 days

Tomorrow I will be 11 weeks. I was 11 weeks when I found out that our last baby no longer had a heartbeat and I was going to need to have a D&C. That was the worst day of my life. If I could just skip over tomorrow and magically be 11 weeks 1 day that would be amazing.

I have an elective ultrasound on Saturday. I can't wait to see baby again. It should look like an actual baby so that will be exciting. I have heard the heartbeat on the doppler a few more times, but only got it to pick up on the display the one time I videotaped it. I'm hoping it becomes easier soon and the display starts picking it up so I know how fast it's pumping away.

10 weeks 4 days

10 weeks 1 day

I got my doppler today. I can find my own heartbeat just fine, but no baby heartbeat. Trying hard not to over react. I've been symptomless for about a week though so that isn't helping any. Just breathe.

Hump Day Bump Day Weeks 9 &10

I am a terrible blogger. I've been really busy with the end of the semester. Finals are this week so I've been studying a lot. Tomorrow is my last one and then it's break. Thank God. I have a lot of things to discuss on the blog so after tomorrow I'll update more.

Week: 10

How Big is Baby: Baby is the size of a prune! The Bump says "Now, she's about 1.2 inches long and weighs about .14 ounces. Her body length will almost double in the next three weeks. Baby has working arm joints, and her cartilage and bones are forming. Her vital organs are fully developed and they're starting to function. Her fingernails and hair are starting to appear, too. Plus, she's swallowing and kicking in there. (Can you believe it?!)"

Weight Gain: About 2 lbs I think.

Gender: Chris thinks it's a boy, and I think it's a girl.

Names: We have names and I thought we were 100%, but now we aren't exactly sure. We won't be sharing until the baby is born tho.

Symptoms: I'm pretty symptomless right now. I'm hoping it's because I am getting close to second tri. It's freaking me out a little bit, or a lot a bit.

Sleep: I've been sleeping really good.

Movement: too early for that, but I can't wait!

Maternity Clothes: Still in normal clothes. I wore leggings and a maternity shirt last hump day though. I didn't have any shirts long enough to wear with leggings so a maternity shirt was the only choice.

Food Cravings: Not really anything this week.

Food Aversions: Nothing. 

Stretchmarks: not yet.

What I'm Looking Forward To: my birthday this weekend

What I Miss: nothing.

Next Drs Appointment: December 24th!

Best Moment of the Week: I got some maternity shirts in the mail from Chris's mom for my birthday. I ordered a doppler too and it should be coming tomorrow!


Black outfit is 9 weeks. Purple is today at 10 weeks. Definitely look like I've been studying, eek.

Surprise Fluff Mail

I got home a little bit ago and checked the mail. There was a package from Kohls on the front porch and I immediately started racking my brain trying to think of what I ordered from Kohls. I ordered one thing on Cyber Monday, but it was way too big to be in the package that was at my door. I opened it and my very favorite thing was inside. CLOTH DIAPERS! Two of them. One yellow and one blue. Chris's mom ordered them for us. I am so excited. I love them so much. We are so lucky and so is this baby!

Hump Day Bump Day Weeks 7&8

Week: 8

How Big is Baby: Baby is the size of a raspberry! The Bump says " Now she weighs in (yay!) at about .04 ounces and measures about .63 inches. This week, she's growing about a milimeter each day. You can't feel it yet, but she's moving those arms and legs like crazy! Her fingers and toes are now only slightly webbed, and her tail (yes, she had one) is gone. Fun fact: your baby's taste buds are now forming."

Weight Gain: It fluctuates every day, but I'm pretty much still the same weight as before, maybe up 1/2 a pound.

Gender: Chris thinks it's a boy, and I think it's a girl.

Names: We have names and I thought we were 100%, but now we aren't exactly sure. We won't be sharing until the baby is born tho.

Symptoms: They change everyday. I'm nauseous pretty much everyday, tired, sore boobs, some cramping, headaches.

Sleep: I've been sleeping really good, probably because I'm really tired.

Movement: too early for that, but I can't wait!

Maternity Clothes: My jeans still fit but they are getting tighter. I'd rather wear yoga pants or leggings any chance I can get.

Food Cravings: Not really anything this week.

Food Aversions: Pretty much everything. I'm never in the mood for anything and the thought of eating makes me sick, but as soon as I eat I feel better.

Stretchmarks: not yet.

What I'm Looking Forward To: looking pregnant and not like I've ate way too much.

What I Miss: nothing.

Next Drs Appointment: December 24th!

Best Moment of the Week: The u/s yesterday for sure. It was amazing.

Here are bump pics from last week and this week. Last week was the polka dotted top.

We have a baby!

I know I'm late on my weekly bump updates. I will do 7&8 on Wednesday. I did take a picture last week at least.

I had my first ultrasound today! I was so nervous. I couldn't stop shaking and the nurse was shocked at how fast my heart could beat. I had nothing to worry about tho! A perfect little baby is chillin in my ute. It had a heartbeat of 154 and measured 7 weeks 5 days. Perfect! I really like the doctor I went to and am going to be transferring for sure to her. I have to call and get all of my information switched tomorrow. There isn't anything wrong with my old Dr but this Dr is closer and I just really liked her. She is going to look at all of my miscarriage information and my D&C pathology and make sure there aren't any extra meds I need to be on. She seems very proactive and I like that.

Here is baby and the yolk sac. Woo!

Hump Day Bump Day Week 6

I can't believe I'm 6 weeks already and I'm STILL pregnant!! I feel so confident about this pregnancy. I know this is it and I am so excited about everything. Ooo and I got my first Alva cloth diapers yesterday. I ordered them from a co-op and I just love them. They are so cute.


Week: 6

How Big is Baby: Baby is the size of a sweet pea. The Bump says "The average embryo at week 6 is about .25 inches and will double in size again next week. Wow! Obviously, she's growing like crazy! She's also circulating blood with her increasingly more sophisticated circulatory system. She's about to get cuter too, since she's starting to sprout a nose, eyes, ears, chin and cheeks. And she might even be wiggling her (paddle-like) hands and feet."

Weight Gain: I stayed the same this week so still -0.6

Gender: Chris thinks boy, I'm still thinking girl.

Names: I thought we were 100% on our names, but I just threw our a new girl name the other night and Chris loved it so we might not be 100% right now.

Symptoms: This week I've been really nauseous. I've also had hot flashes, dizziness, extreme exhaustion and migraines. Luckily not all of the symptoms everyday.

Sleep: I've been getting so much sleep. I love it.

Movement: too early for that, but I can't wait!

Maternity Clothes: I'm not wearing any, but I did get out maternity jeans that I bought last time.

Food Cravings: bread or carbs

Food Aversions: everything other than carbs, especially meat and anything surgary.

Stretchmarks: none

What I'm Looking Forward To: my first drs appointment!

What I Miss: nothing yet

Next Drs Appointment: Friday! It's just with the nurse, but at least it's something.

Best Moment of the Week: getting the cloth diapers in the mail I ordered. I love them!

Wooo!

Remember Emily from Waiting on a Baby May? Well she is pregnant!! Congrats to her!! Also congrats to Kate from The Buggy List who got her BFP today too! Annnd Weasle from More Salt's betas came back amazing!! July is going to be one hell of a month!!

Afternoon Sickness

Yesterday and today I have had morning sickness, except it's not in the morning, it's 2pm and on. I haven't actually thrown up, but I have been super nauseous. I've also still been having a lot of cramping, but both of these things make me feel better about this pregnancy. I didn't really have many symptoms last time and was never nauseous.

Yesterday I got home from class around 3:30 and spent the rest of the night in bed. Today I am trying to get some things done, even though I would really rather be in bed. I'm sure I'll end up there in a couple hours.

I also made a Dr appointment today with a different doctor. My doctor I have this time is the same doctor I had last time and I really like him, but he doesn't do ultrasounds until 20 weeks. I can not wait until February for an ultrasound. My PgAL brain will not let me go that long. So today I made an appointment at the clinic I work at with a new female doctor. She does ultrasounds at your first appt and also at 12 weeks. I will probably only go to her once for the initial ultrasound, but if I end up not liking my other doctor at least I will have a back up. I'm just testing out both doctors I guess. My appointment with her is Nov 26 in the evening so Chris will be able to go. I am very excited, but also super nervous.

Hump Day Bump Day 5 Weeks!

First of all, I had to go back to May to find this survey I use to do last time I was pregnant. I then started reading all of my posts and it's just so hard to think that I lived through that. I can not believe that I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I can not believe that I saw and heard the heart beat TWO times and then it just wasn't there anymore. I can not believe it happened to me. I also can not believe that I am pregnant less than 4 months later. It just seems so unbelievable to me. All of it.

Anyway, here is my survey for this week. I will probably start belly pictures next week at 6 weeks.

Week: 5

How Big is Baby: Baby is the size of an apple seed. The Bump says "Your embryo is now measurable -- though at week five, it's a wee .13 inches -- and she's gearing up for much more growth. In fact, in the next week, she'll almost double in size. Grow baby grow!  The embryo doesn't look like much more than a tadpole right now, but at five weeks, she's already starting to form major organs (heart, stomach, liver, kidney) and systems (digestive, circulatory, nervous)."

Weight Gain: I've lost 0.6 since I found out I was pregnant.

Gender: Chris thinks it's a boy, I think it's a girl, but I'd love either and don't really have a preference.

Names: We have both of our names picked out. I'll probably share them after the anatomy ultrasound.

Symptoms: I'm super tired. I've also had some pretty intense cramping, but that's about it.

Sleep: I am sleeping so much and it's such good sleep. I never even wake up once the whole night. 

Movement: too early for that, but I can't wait!

Maternity Clothes: none

Food Cravings: Nothing really yet. 

Food Aversions: none

Stretchmarks: none

What I'm Looking Forward To: My first drs appointment next friday! It's just with the nurse, but at least it's something.

What I Miss: nothing yet

Next Drs Appointment: Next Friday at 10:30 am. Wooo!

Best Moment of the Week: Getting my betas back and seeing that they had tripled!!

Amazing

I just got the most amazing gift from the sweetest lady ever. My friend Emily from Waiting On a Baby May sent me this mustache pacifier to match the mustache rings I bought for her and I. So thoughtful. I am definitely lucky and so is this baby!

Our ring

 Baby's pacifier to match. 

Tripled!

My HCG on Saturday was 212. Today it was 650!!! I am so excited. I was hoping it'd be at least 500, but 650 is more than triple. My progesterone was 15.7. I'm not thrilled with that number but the doctor wasn't worried so I'm not going to worry either.

Ahh! This might actually happen!!

Saturday

Last night Chris and I went to dinner with my parents. My mom gave me a book she bought me. I'm really looking forward to reading it. I really plan on raising this baby as naturally as possible including cloth diapering, breastfeeding and baby wearing.

This morning I had my blood drawn. The Dr decided to do betas and progesterone instead of just a yes/no test because yesterday I was having really bad cramping. I am feeling better today though. I will get my results Monday.

The rest of the weekend I'm going to try to finish everything I have left for the rest of the semester. I'm feeling pretty good right now so I want to get as much done now as I can incase I'm not feeling well later. Only have 5 weeks left til Christmas break!

Hump Day Bump Day

I'M PREGNANT!!! AHHHHH! I can't even believe it honestly. I've known since Sunday and today I am finally letting it all set in and I am finally excited!!

According to fertility friend my due date is July 12, 2013, that's why my post was titled July 12, 2013 yesterday. Did anyone get it? One of my best friends reads this blog and she was like "uh I don't get what July 12th is" hahaha 

If I go by my last period I would be 4 weeks today. For the sake of this blog I'm going to go by that since that is what my doctor will go by and I don't want to get confused having to keep both numbers in my head. It's also nice because I will change weeks on Wednesday, so I'll always get to to hump day bump day : )

Chris is so excited and last night he rubbed my belly and said "you have something living in there" hahaha. I loved it! We have also told our parents and siblings and a few friends. We have told more people a lot sooner then we did last time, but I need as many positive vibes thrown my way as I can get. I thought I wouldn't tell anyone until 12 weeks after what happened, but I really just need support and love from everyone. I really believe this is my take home baby!

Also, everyone remember Weasle from More Salt? I posted her blog like 2 posts ago? Well, she is pregnant too! We have the same due date, so everyone should go congratulate her as well!

July 12, 2013

 Yep. 

Check it out

Ooookkk. The past like 10 posts, or every post in awhile, have been super depressing. I decided today to post about something that wasn't so woe is me.

There are several blogs I read everyday, but today I want to feature a couple of newer blogs and blogs of people I know in real life. I think everyone should stop by these blogs and comment on them and even better, start following them.

The first one is my sister. She is a 23 year old nanny that is on her way to losing 57 lbs. She has already lost over 35 and she looks amazing. She posts what she eats everyday as well as the exercises she does and inspirational pictures.

http://fitnanny.tumblr.com/

The next one is a brand new blog just started today. My lovely friend Emily has been TTC and has recently learned that she probably isn't ovulating. Her blog is mostly going to be focusing on her trouble TTC, but she also recently got married so it will have some things in it about her first year of marriage. Please stop on over and say hello!

http://waitingonababymay.blogspot.com/

I also think everyone should check out Tracy @ Someday Sunday, Sandra @ A Blog to Bragg About, and Weasle @ More Salt

I think I'm going to start doing this more often so if you want your blog featured please let me know!!

Pain

How can someone else's joy bring me so much pain?

A friend of mine just texted me to let me know that she is pregnant and I immediately broke down in tears. I am very happy for her and know that they want a lot of kids. She has a one year old and they just recently started trying again. She is 6 weeks pregnant. I just feel so horrible that I feel this way. I don't understand how it is so easy for some people and impossible for others. I just can't help but feel like I will never get pregnant or stay pregnant. I know her getting pregnant doesn't take a baby from me, but it just reminds me that other people can get pregnant and have babies, and I can not.

National Day of Remberance

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and today, October 15th is National Day of Remembrance. I would like to remember my baby by talking about infant loss. 

It seems like no one ever talks about it. After I had my miscarriage I learned that some other people I know have suffered a miscarriage as well and I had no idea, because they never talked about it. Not too many people in real life know that I have had one either. I don't talk about it either, unless it comes up. It really does need to be talked about tho.

One out of every four women will experience the loss of a baby at some point in their lives. That's 25%  of women.

• 25-50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage (pregnancy.org).
• Stillbirths (the death of a baby after 20 weeks gestation) occur in one in every 160 pregnancies–about 60 stillborn babies every single day (March of Dimes).
• Each year, in the US alone, about 20,000 babies die in their first month of life, many after being born prematurely (March of Dimes).
• SIDS is the leading cause of death among infants ages 1 month to 1 year.
• Almost 100% of miscarriages could not have been prevented, with the majority being caused by chromosomal abnormalities.
• 25% of Stillbirths are caused by placental problems; 15% are caused by an infection; 2-4% are caused by umbilical cord problems, and 50% have no known cause of death whatsoever. While there are risk factors to be aware of (smoking, for instance), the overwhelming majority of stillbirths are completely out of the mother’s control.
• “Baby loss” does not discriminate. Often, it’s young, perfectly healthy women who experience the loss of a baby.

You can go here to get a badge to help spread the word. 

Ugh

I got my last bill today (hopefully). Reading it made me want to puke.

Outfit of the day

So since I got this new phone, I've decided to put it to use. I'm going to start posting outfit of the day on days I actually wear clothes and not just scrubs or yoga pants. Today happened to be one of those days.

Sweater: Van Heusen

Cami: Target

Jeans: American Eagle Straight Leg

Oooo and Leslie had her baby! He was born Thursday at about 7pm. His name is Landon James and he was 8lbs 10oz 22inches long. I will get to meet him next weekend!

New Baby

Chris's cousin, Leslie, is being induced tonight at midnight. Please keep her and baby in your prayers! Chris and I are going to go visit next weekend so I will have plenty of pictures to post then.

Oooo and tomorrow I am picking up my new phone I ordered over the weekend. I am finally going to join the rest of the world with a smart phone. I'm hoping that will help me have better pictures on this blog since I will have a good camera on my phone. I'm going to sign up for instagram so if you have that be sure to let me know!

Cycle 15: All my fault.

Today is the first day of cycle 15. That is insane to me. I honestly can not believe I am even sitting here writing this. I should have a baby by now. I just don't understand.

I can't get over the fact that if Chris was with someone else he would probably have his baby by now. He is perfectly fine. All his swimmers and in tip top shape. I am the cause of this. I am the reason we don't have a baby. I am the reason he can't be a daddy. I couldn't even stay pregnant when I was given the opportunity. All of this is my fault, and I just can't get over it.

Angel Baby

One of my friends posted this on facebook today and I really loved it. 

Rough Day

I am 1 DPO today I think. I got a positive OPK yesterday and my temped spiked today, so fingers crossed. I'm glad about that and excited to see if this is lucky cycle #14, but I had a super rough day today.

I had school today and I'm studying to become an RN. My friend and I were doing a project where we have to do a health assessment on each other. It's like a full physical and has to be video taped so the instructor can watch it. We were in the video taping room just practicing going over all the questions and she gets to the pregnancy part. She knows I miscarried and she started getting sad about having to ask me questions about it. One of them was how many pregnancies have you had? And how many live births? She thought that it wasn't a very nice way to word the question but I told her that that is really how they ask in the hospital so just go ahead and say it. Then she started saying how she was so sorry I had to go through that and how it isn't fair, and that is when I started getting teary and then she said that she just wanted to hug me. So then that is when I started bawling. I just can't handle it. Then she was crying for me and telling me how I will get my baby and it will happen and how it's so not fair. I was a mess. I'm a mess right now just typing it out. We decided when we did the real deal and video taped it, I was just going to say I've never been pregnant and never had any surgeries. We got through it, but ooo man it was rough. Still is rough. I don't know when I'm going to be able to talk about it without crying. I thought I was to that point, but I guess not.

CD 13

CD 4

Chris's cousin went to the hospital tonight. She thinks she might be in labor! I am so excited for her, but it got me thinking about my pregnancy and now I'm in a funk.

I started thinking about how Chris always use to tell me to just "sit on my nest". He didn't want me to ever do anything. He wanted to do everything for me. It was so cute. Just thinking about that makes me cry.

I hope someday it gets better.

Wedding: Bride & Groom Formal Pictures

Here are some of my favorite pictures of just the two of us.