Today is the first day of cycle 15. That is insane to me. I honestly can not believe I am even sitting here writing this. I should have a baby by now. I just don't understand.
I can't get over the fact that if Chris was with someone else he would probably have his baby by now. He is perfectly fine. All his swimmers and in tip top shape. I am the cause of this. I am the reason we don't have a baby. I am the reason he can't be a daddy. I couldn't even stay pregnant when I was given the opportunity. All of this is my fault, and I just can't get over it.