Thursday, September 20, 2012

Rough Day

I am 1 DPO today I think. I got a positive OPK yesterday and my temped spiked today, so fingers crossed. I'm glad about that and excited to see if this is lucky cycle #14, but I had a super rough day today.

I had school today and I'm studying to become an RN. My friend and I were doing a project where we have to do a health assessment on each other. It's like a full physical and has to be video taped so the instructor can watch it. We were in the video taping room just practicing going over all the questions and she gets to the pregnancy part. She knows I miscarried and she started getting sad about having to ask me questions about it. One of them was how many pregnancies have you had? And how many live births? She thought that it wasn't a very nice way to word the question but I told her that that is really how they ask in the hospital so just go ahead and say it. Then she started saying how she was so sorry I had to go through that and how it isn't fair, and that is when I started getting teary and then she said that she just wanted to hug me. So then that is when I started bawling. I just can't handle it. Then she was crying for me and telling me how I will get my baby and it will happen and how it's so not fair. I was a mess. I'm a mess right now just typing it out. We decided when we did the real deal and video taped it, I was just going to say I've never been pregnant and never had any surgeries. We got through it, but ooo man it was rough. Still is rough. I don't know when I'm going to be able to talk about it without crying. I thought I was to that point, but I guess not.

5 comments:

  1. I think some parts of our life never get easier to talk about. The sting might go away but that ache may never. However you are strong and moving on the best you can and that is all you can do. My fingers are crossed for you for this cycle :)

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  2. Hugs Hun. I've had a miscarriage it's hard but when the time is right it'll happen.

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  3. Yeah that is really tough to be asked. I'm glad you had such a supportive friend who wanted you to be comfortable during it and felt for you when she asked those questions.

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  4. I'm glad you had someone there for you in that moment. Good luck this cycle - FX :)

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