Hump Day Bump Day

I'M PREGNANT!!! AHHHHH! I can't even believe it honestly. I've known since Sunday and today I am finally letting it all set in and I am finally excited!!

According to fertility friend my due date is July 12, 2013, that's why my post was titled July 12, 2013 yesterday. Did anyone get it? One of my best friends reads this blog and she was like "uh I don't get what July 12th is" hahaha 

If I go by my last period I would be 4 weeks today. For the sake of this blog I'm going to go by that since that is what my doctor will go by and I don't want to get confused having to keep both numbers in my head. It's also nice because I will change weeks on Wednesday, so I'll always get to to hump day bump day : )

Chris is so excited and last night he rubbed my belly and said "you have something living in there" hahaha. I loved it! We have also told our parents and siblings and a few friends. We have told more people a lot sooner then we did last time, but I need as many positive vibes thrown my way as I can get. I thought I wouldn't tell anyone until 12 weeks after what happened, but I really just need support and love from everyone. I really believe this is my take home baby!

Also, everyone remember Weasle from More Salt? I posted her blog like 2 posts ago? Well, she is pregnant too! We have the same due date, so everyone should go congratulate her as well!

July 12, 2013

 Yep. 

Check it out

Ooookkk. The past like 10 posts, or every post in awhile, have been super depressing. I decided today to post about something that wasn't so woe is me.

There are several blogs I read everyday, but today I want to feature a couple of newer blogs and blogs of people I know in real life. I think everyone should stop by these blogs and comment on them and even better, start following them.

The first one is my sister. She is a 23 year old nanny that is on her way to losing 57 lbs. She has already lost over 35 and she looks amazing. She posts what she eats everyday as well as the exercises she does and inspirational pictures.

http://fitnanny.tumblr.com/

The next one is a brand new blog just started today. My lovely friend Emily has been TTC and has recently learned that she probably isn't ovulating. Her blog is mostly going to be focusing on her trouble TTC, but she also recently got married so it will have some things in it about her first year of marriage. Please stop on over and say hello!

http://waitingonababymay.blogspot.com/

I also think everyone should check out Tracy @ Someday Sunday, Sandra @ A Blog to Bragg About, and Weasle @ More Salt

I think I'm going to start doing this more often so if you want your blog featured please let me know!!

Pain

How can someone else's joy bring me so much pain?

A friend of mine just texted me to let me know that she is pregnant and I immediately broke down in tears. I am very happy for her and know that they want a lot of kids. She has a one year old and they just recently started trying again. She is 6 weeks pregnant. I just feel so horrible that I feel this way. I don't understand how it is so easy for some people and impossible for others. I just can't help but feel like I will never get pregnant or stay pregnant. I know her getting pregnant doesn't take a baby from me, but it just reminds me that other people can get pregnant and have babies, and I can not.

National Day of Remberance

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and today, October 15th is National Day of Remembrance. I would like to remember my baby by talking about infant loss. 

It seems like no one ever talks about it. After I had my miscarriage I learned that some other people I know have suffered a miscarriage as well and I had no idea, because they never talked about it. Not too many people in real life know that I have had one either. I don't talk about it either, unless it comes up. It really does need to be talked about tho.

One out of every four women will experience the loss of a baby at some point in their lives. That's 25%  of women.

• 25-50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage (pregnancy.org).
• Stillbirths (the death of a baby after 20 weeks gestation) occur in one in every 160 pregnancies–about 60 stillborn babies every single day (March of Dimes).
• Each year, in the US alone, about 20,000 babies die in their first month of life, many after being born prematurely (March of Dimes).
• SIDS is the leading cause of death among infants ages 1 month to 1 year.
• Almost 100% of miscarriages could not have been prevented, with the majority being caused by chromosomal abnormalities.
• 25% of Stillbirths are caused by placental problems; 15% are caused by an infection; 2-4% are caused by umbilical cord problems, and 50% have no known cause of death whatsoever. While there are risk factors to be aware of (smoking, for instance), the overwhelming majority of stillbirths are completely out of the mother’s control.
• “Baby loss” does not discriminate. Often, it’s young, perfectly healthy women who experience the loss of a baby.

You can go here to get a badge to help spread the word. 

Ugh

I got my last bill today (hopefully). Reading it made me want to puke.

Outfit of the day

So since I got this new phone, I've decided to put it to use. I'm going to start posting outfit of the day on days I actually wear clothes and not just scrubs or yoga pants. Today happened to be one of those days.

Sweater: Van Heusen

Cami: Target

Jeans: American Eagle Straight Leg

Oooo and Leslie had her baby! He was born Thursday at about 7pm. His name is Landon James and he was 8lbs 10oz 22inches long. I will get to meet him next weekend!

New Baby

Chris's cousin, Leslie, is being induced tonight at midnight. Please keep her and baby in your prayers! Chris and I are going to go visit next weekend so I will have plenty of pictures to post then.

Oooo and tomorrow I am picking up my new phone I ordered over the weekend. I am finally going to join the rest of the world with a smart phone. I'm hoping that will help me have better pictures on this blog since I will have a good camera on my phone. I'm going to sign up for instagram so if you have that be sure to let me know!

Cycle 15: All my fault.

Today is the first day of cycle 15. That is insane to me. I honestly can not believe I am even sitting here writing this. I should have a baby by now. I just don't understand.

I can't get over the fact that if Chris was with someone else he would probably have his baby by now. He is perfectly fine. All his swimmers and in tip top shape. I am the cause of this. I am the reason we don't have a baby. I am the reason he can't be a daddy. I couldn't even stay pregnant when I was given the opportunity. All of this is my fault, and I just can't get over it.