Saturday, July 7, 2012


The D&C went well last night. I was so nervous the whole time. They took a lot of blood for different things and I got an IV. The procedure was pretty fast and I didn't have any pain when I woke up. I got mucus in my lungs when they were removing the breathing tube so I had to stay a little longer than normal. My oxygen levels kept going down to around 80%. Today I feel ok. No cramping and only light bleeding. My throat hurts really bad from the breathing tube and my lungs still have stuff in them so whenever I take a deep breathe I have to cough.

I'm doing a lot better physically than I am emotionally. It took us 11 cycles, almost a year to get pregnant. We wanted this so bad. I did everything perfect. I drank no caffeine, ate well, drank plenty of water, and always took my vitamins. I stayed off my feet when the spotting started. I did everything the doctor said. I think when the spotting started things were already going down hill, even tho we saw/heard the heartbeat twice. I know that there must have been something wrong with the baby so this is Gods way of taking care of it. I know it's for the best, but it doesn't make it any easier. We wanted this baby so bad. My parents and Chris's parents were so excited to be grandparents. My sister and his sisters were elated to be aunts. It's so hard. I feel like I let everyone down, even tho logically I know it wasn't my fault.

I go back to the doctor in 4 weeks for a check up. I hope we can start trying again really soon after that. I want to be a mom more than anything, and this isn't going to bring me down. I know it will happen again and next time everything will be perfect.

1 comment:

  1. My heart is breaking for you. Do not for a second think this is your fault, you have done nothing wrong. Right now try to let yourself greive and physically take it easy to let your body recover. Thinking of you and praying for you.